Just dudes being dudes, right?[/caption]You know what I'm tired of? Being allowed to rag on men. As in, men as a whole gender. Like that awful, "Men. Easier fed than understood." ad campaign from Ball Park. So, women shouldn't waste their time trying to "understand" men, they should just set a hot dog in front of them and leave them to their strange, foreign man things? Or pick your average sitcom for the last 15 or 20 years - the bumbling idiot of a guy is darn lucky to have his hot, smart wife to tell him what's what when he messes up.
How did we get so comfortable watching men getting treated so poorly? It's an old trick, but would you be okay swapping out men for women in those situations? Of course not, and I'm glad for that. That used to be the case, and it took a lot of work for us to get where we are now. But somewhere along the way, we forgot that men don't need the generalizations and condescension any more than women do.
Listen, I roll my eyes plenty at my husband. But that's not because he's a dude, it's because he's a person, and in a relationship with another human being there are moments of frustration. He rolls his eyes just as much at me, you can be sure.
And we complement each other's strengths, too. It's not a case of, "Oh man, I don't know how he ever got her." One of us isn't eternally indebted to the other for deigning to be married. The fact is, we're each lucky to have the other. And I think 90% is because we choose to see it that way. I see my parents that way, too - each of them lucky to have the other. They are both smart, both strong, both flawed, and both wonderful.
I don't feel men and women are indistinguishable, just to clarify. Men and women have different things being asked of them, both culturally and - more importantly - in an eternal sense. This is certainly a discussion for another day, but suffice it to say that still, after we acknowledge the unique attributes of men and women, there's a whole heck of a lot more in common than there is different.
So can we all agree that it's a good idea to celebrate the individual instead of constantly referring to a stereotype? In that spirit, here's a very short list of some of the great things men have done for me.
Dear various men of my life:
Thank you for the best puns a girl could ask for.
Thank you for that bacon turkey and pear panini you came up with. It was scrumptious.
Thank you for screaming during the haunted house, because I didn't feel as scared after that.
Thank you for doing crosswords with me.
Thank you for never being too tired to shoot hoops with our kids.
Thank you for asking how I'm doing, and really wanting to know.
Thank you for setting standards in your life and living them.
Thank you for your love.
Happy Father's Day, men!
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