Ben's Book Club - Gone Girl

Welcome to Ben's Book Club!  Ben is Tracey's husband, and from time to time he finds us things to read and talk about.  Today, Tracey, Ben, and Sarah sat down to discuss Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.  What follows is a transcript of that conversation, edited for brevity and such.  Next we hope to do a Google Hangout to include Erika (and you, if you're interested).  We'll keep you posted.

Gone Girl is a thriller/mystery set in Carthage, Missouri. It features a husband and wife who have moved there after losing their jobs in New York.  On their fifth wedding anniversary, the wife - Amy - goes missing.  With a non-linear structure told from different perspectives, the plot is one that keeps you guessing.

Now, be forewarned that there are SPOILERS a plenty below. (It should also be noted that Ben has placed a curse on anyone who skips ahead or read spoilers. He says they will be turned into an old Gypsy.) Finally, this is a book that has strong, explicit language, so be aware of that should you choose to pick up a copy.




Why did you recommend this book to us, Ben?

Ben: Well, I  really like the twists in the book, and how it keeps you guessing. You want to talk about it because of that. Also, with the character of Amy I'm impressed that she was able to accomplish what she did

Sarah: Right. You definitely acknowledge that she's a genius.I found myself not being able to keep the stories straight - much like the characters in the book - I couldn't quite remember what part was Amy lying and what was "real".

Tracey: I felt sufficiently manipulated.

Ben: Well I first, I found myself thinking, "Maybe you're going a bit too far, but you're getting even with your husband for cheating on you, so it kind of makes sense."  Then you here about what she did to her friend in high school and to the other guy, and you start to realize she's insane

Sarah: Oh, I thought she was insane as soon as we found out she was alive. I thought, "Nuts.  She is straight up nuts."

Tracey: Well, and we found out pretty quickly that she was willing to kill herself for this.

Sarah: Was she, though?  I didn't quite believe it.  I think she told herself she would do it, to feel like she had that much control, but ultimately she doesn't really want to die.

Tracey: I think she really does have that much control, though.

Ben: Yeah, she is able to plan enough to break her own toilet to fake a pregnancy.

Sarah: Saving the vomit. That one impressed me.

Ben: Do you think she actually poisoned herself or just added some antifreeze to her vomit?

Tracey: Oh, poisoned herself.

Sarah: Yeah, definitely.

Tracey: I mean, the woman spent a year writing seven years worth of diary entries with different colored pens.

Do You Find Either of Them Sympathetic At First?

Ben: I didn't find him sympathetic through the whole thing.

Tracey: I never liked him.

Sarah: I found myself being very neutral about everything until the affair was revealed, and then I was 100% against him.

Tracey: Okay, what about her?

Ben: I kinda like the diary version of her.

Tracey: I think I almost liked her better at the end, because I felt I had an understanding and sympathy for her.  She was crazy, and it was because her parents constantly holding her to this impossible standard, the "Amazing Amy".  Not that she should have a child, though.

Sarah: Scariest part of the book. Easily. And the fact that everything was left so open-ended.

Ben: But are her parents really like that? Because the only information we get on them behaving that way, really-

Tracey: -came from her! That's true.

Sarah: But Nick seems to blame the parents in the end, too.

Tracey: Well, and with the pregnancy: who really did not want the pregnancy? Did she not want it? Did he?

Ben: I think in the end, she didn't want it, but she want the trump card.

Tracey: She wanted control.

At what point do your sympathies begin to change if they do?

Ben: For him, I kind of felt bad that he was going through this frame up...

Tracey: But you never liked him.  And I found it interesting that he hired this smarmy lawyer.

Sarah: Yeah, the jerk lawyer.

Tracey: And that was the only point where I thought, "Maybe he did kill her."

Nick insists he has nothing to do with his wife's disappearance.  Do you believe him, or at what point did you start to suspect he was guilty?

Ben: I never really thought he did it, but I wasn't sure who had done it.

Sarah: Well, and we knew something was up, because they kept dropping lines like, "That was my fifth lie of the day," and he had this secret phone he wasn't answering...

Tracey: But it was almost, like, too easy like you said.  But I will say, I was surprised by the affair.  I was like, "What?!"

Sarah: And at that point, you hated him. You just thought, "Ugh, you sad little loser."

What did you think of Nick and Amy's relationship? Was a it a good relationship? Where do the stress lines fall in the marriage?

Tracey: Sarah and I were talking about this earlier.

Sarah: Yeah, and I think that by the end, on paper at least, they have a good marriage, right? They are two people that are willing to do what is necessary for them to stay together. And they are sacrificing aspects of themselves so that that can happen.

Tracey: And they fully understand and accept the other.

Sarah: Yes, they know everything about each other.

Ben: But he's terrified of her.  It's not so much that he accepts her as much as he's scared of her.

Tracey: But Ben, aren't you a little scared of me, wouldn't you say?

Ben: No.

Tracey: (Laughs.) Ben has said that if he came home and told me he was doing another four years of grad school that I would smother him in his sleep.  And I told him, "Yeah, I probably would."

Sarah: Ha!

Tracey: But back to their marriage.  I think that in today's society, people live with each other for so long before they get married so that they presumably can get to know each other.  And for Amy, she felt like her husband didn't know her and that's why she felt like she was done.  She was ready to walk away from it and put her husband in jail for forever.  And while most relationships don't end in such a dramatic fashion, how many people end a relationship because they feel like, "He doesn't know me?" Is this just an extreme example of what really happens?

Ben: And when you date, you aren't really presenting "you", you are presenting a certain version of yourself.

Sarah: So really this is just a really high stakes version of a normal relationship?

Tracey: As far as where the stress lines fall in their relationship, I think it stems from each of them trying to be something they're not.

Sarah: That's true, and in the end, they acknowledge who they really are.

Ben: But then what do you make of Nick saying towards the end that he finds himself believing the lie they've made of their marriage?

Sarah: But isn't that what marriage is, though? Like, it's hard to give up aspects of yourself and to choose to be different and to be better, but if you fully invest yourself in being the best thing for that person, you become that person after awhile.

Tracey: I would say in most marriages, you work to bring out the best in each other, whereas in this marriage they are fighting off the worst in each other.  Preventing the worst in each other.

Sarah: Ooh, I like that. But they still shouldn't have a child.

Tracey: No. There should be no child brought into this world.

Does the novel make you think about your own relationship? Can you ever truly know the other person?

Tracey: I think that's a valid question. I feel like for Ben and I, that's never really been an issue. But our relationship started out with friendship, and so we knew each other pretty well already before our relationship progressed. I feel like we did know each other before we got married, plus we were both a little older when we got married, and I think that was to our advantage.

Ben: It's true.

Sarah: I don't understand why "truly knowing" someone is the goal. Like why is that so important?  I think that there are things you should know about the person you are with, and certain aspects of who they are that you can always rely on, so it that sense you need to know them, but other than that, why is it so important to know everything about a person?

Tracey: And is it really ever possible for someone not to have their own little secrets, even if they're just omissions? Maybe we all have that internal need to keep our own little secrets, though probably not to the extent that these people do. For example, sometimes Ben buys himself a doughnut and the way home but doesn't bring me one.  Even though I love doughnuts.  It is just his little secret.  I'm sure we all have little secrets.

Sarah: Well, there was that one time...you know...

Ben: That you framed that guy for murder?

Sarah: Yeah.

Tracey: This is the best book club ever.

Who should play these characters in a film version of this book?

Our final choices: Amy played by Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper playing Nick, and Ray Wise as Nick's lawyer.